ANAL CUNT TO RECORD TWO-MINUTE EPIC FOR NEXT ALBUM

Note: Go here if you're not familiar with Anal Cunt, and the following article will be a lot funnier.

     The three-piece, shockingly-named group Anal Cunt has decided to go out on
a limb for their next release, shrieker (he can't really be called a singer) Seth
Putnam has told The Cut Out Bin.  The band will boldly go where no 52-track per
album grindcore band has gone before by cutting a two-minute epic about a store
owner with goals who is date raped.

70s rock icons The Band, who have nothing to do with Anal Cunt.  (Try linking those two groups together
through the Kevin Bacon game!)

     "When you consider the two to three second length of most our songs,"
Seth told COB, "This would be the equivelent of a prog metal band like Fates
Warning recording, like, a 52-minute song.  Those guys'll never do anything
like that.  But we're Anal Cunt, we've got balls and we're not afraid to
experiment.  Hey, did Fates ever record a follow-up to Perfect Symmetry?"
     Anal Cunt will release their third album in the Spring,
tentetively entitled, You Edit a Parody Web-zine.

Note: AC's having recorded a song entiteld, "Your Band's in the Cut-Out Bin"
had nothing to do with their getting this piece.  Really... (counting money)

ACTUNG!: What you just read is BULLSHIT!!!  I made it up!  Muchas gracias, merci boku...