TONY IOMMI BACKPEDALS SOME MORE
An exclusive Cut-Out Bin interview with heavy metal's founding guitarist

     Tony Iommi, guitarist for the band that for all intents and
purposes invented heavy metal, is a man who needs no introduction,
but I've already started into one so fuckit, I'll continue with it.
While he wrote several monster riffs while a member of Black Sabbath's
original incarnation, his technical proficiency had improved signifi-
cantly toward the end of Ozzy's tenure as singer and became downright
godly after Ozzy left.  However, recent events have changed Tony's
public position on post-Ozzy Sabbath...
(scuze me, gunfire in track 12 of SFAM, must listen...)
%One last time.....%
(ahem)...to that embraced by Ozzy's mindless legions, much to the
chagrin of those who have stuck by Iommi's various incarnations of 
the band.  Cut-Out Bin Editor-in-Chief T.J. Swoboda interviewed
the legendary Tony Iommi, along with Sharon Osbourne, who did little
besides hold a hold to his back.
%We'll meet again my friend, someday sooooonnnn...% Damn this is gonna
be great live...

COB: So, Tony, what's this about your new feeling toward the post
Never Say Die albums.
TI: What post Never Say Die albums?  We broke up in '79.
COB: Heaven and Hell, Mob Rules...
TI: (poorly faked confused look)
COB: With Dio?
TI: Ah, Dio, one of the better 80s bands.  What've they got to do
with Sabbath?
COB: Ronnie James Dio sang on three of your bloody albums!
SO: (presses gun harder into Tony's back)
TI: Uh, Ozzy is Sabbath, nobody else, er, yeah...
COB: Okay, what about your, uh, 'solo' album from '86 with Glenn
Hughes?
TI: Well, that was released as...I mean...
SO: (whispers)
TI: Oh yeah, never happened.  A rumor, like the Zeppelin album
with the Satanic chants.
COB: Born Again, The Eternal Idol, Headless Cross, Tyr, Cross
Purposes, Forbidden, never happened eh?
TI: Some people have these false memories; maybe from a
parallel universe, who knows; of me dragging the Sabbath name
through the mud as the only original.  Like I said, never
happened, not in this reality anyway.
COB: Dragged the name...Well, the name credibility got thin
at times, but that didn't matter cause the music kicked ass!
TI: Uh, sorry, never happened.

Sabbath during happier times... (sniff)

COB: What's with all these crappy flavor-of-the-week singers
you've got lined up for your new solo album?
TI: Well, it worked for Carlos Santana.  I came up with the idea
a couple years ago, and now with the music industry scumbags praising
Carlos for jumping on a trendwagon, I realized the idea was worth
pursuing.
COB: Is the track with Phil Anselmo gonna be any good?
TI: It could be, but he's just going to scream a lot, so no.
COB: Henry Rollins?
TI: He's just going to read some crappy poetry while I play
"Odin's Court" from...
SO: <pulls hammer back>
TI: I mean, just Rollins reading crappy poetry to my acoustic
playing.
COB: Thanks Tony, I'll let you get back to that project.  I'm going
to go crank Born Again.
TI: Jolly good idea!  I mean, Bark at the Moon, I'll go crank that.
Okay Sharon?  We're done, you can put the gun away...

ACTUNG!: What you just read is BULLSHIT!!! I made it up! Muchas gracias, merci boku,
yob tvoyu mat, kuti-kala wahhhalas...