SEVENTH TRUMPET BLOWN, CHRIS BARNS TO
SING INTELLIGIBLE LYRICS
Sinners flock back to church to await final judgement
as choirs sing mysoginistically violent lyrics

     Current Six Feet Under and former Cannibal Corpse
front-puker Chris Barns will record, within the next
week, a song for the next Six Feet Under album, and
this song will feature lyrics that can be understood
by the human ear.
     "Cannibal Corpse would have been packing arenas
if I'd actually sang lyrics like, "From behind I cut
her crotch/In her ass I stuck my cock/Killing as I cum."

("Fucked With A Knife," from 1994's The Bleeding)
Barns told The Cut Out Bin.  "But the idea of grindcore
is for the singer to just make Cookie Monster noises,
and write down sick poetry later that we claim are the
song's lyrics.

Huey Lewis & The News, who have nothing to do with
Six Feet Under.  "Go take a flying..."

     "For the next Six Feet Under album though, we're
going to experiment."  Chris declared proudly.  "I'm
going to write; have written actually; lyrics in the
vein of "Fucked With A Knife" and "Entrails Ripped
From A Virgin's Cunt," and then sing them
intelligibly.  I'm not much of a singer, it'll be
like a cross between Blaze Bayley and Tom Araya, but
there won't be any doubt as to what I'm saying.
Fawell and his conservative so-called 'Christians';
if I were a Christian, I'd say they're gonna roast
with Judas for their heresy; are gonna go apeshit."
     The family values crowd aren't the only ones
going apeshit.  Fans of grindcore and people who
hate grindcore (such as this writer) who are
familiar with it are flocking to churhes worldwide,
certain that the Day of Judgement is at hand.  I
mean, a mysoginistically violent Chris Barns song
that you can actually understand...The End is at hand!

ACTUNG!: What you just read is BULLSHIT!!! I made it up! Muchas gracias, merci boku,
yob tvoyu mat, kuti-kala wahhhalas...