ENGELBERT HUMPHERDINK'S MUSIC
CAUSES DEMON POSESSION IN LAB RATS!
Good Christians everywhere, beware!

     In 100% scientific tests conducted by Christians
for a Pure America (CPA), tests just as scientific as
the ones that PROVE that the Earth was created on
Oct. 23, 4004 BC, Engelbert Humpherdink's satanic,
drug addled music has been PROVEN to cause demon
possession in lab rats.
     When exposed to an entire Engelbert Humpherdink
album, the white Norweigans (only a Satan-serving
secular scientist would name a brown rat a white
Norweigan...) wandered their cage aimlesslessly,
as if looking for food, but they sought the same sort
of happiness that drug addicts pursue.  Male and
female rats threw good Christian morals to the wind,
engaging in Satan-inspired orgies!

Engelbert Humpherdink's aura, as seen through the eyes of a true child of God!
If you think this is really Phil Anselmo, you must be DEMON POSSESSED!

     When confronted with this irrefutable
scientific evidence, Engelbert Humpherdink said,
"What the fuck are you talking about?  I'm no
devil worshipper."  THAT'S the final proof!  Any
TRUE Satanist would deny it!!!
     Join us in front of the Robert Tayler Homes
in Chicago on June 10, at 1:00 AM, for a rally at
which we'll burn Engelbert Humpherdink's as well as
all other demonic easy listening CDs!  To avoid
persecution by secular elements, the early arrivials
will be ingognito.  Our code phrase is: "You got a
problem, muthafucka?!"

[Editor's note: Some preacher's daughter gave me a
blow job to put this in here.]

ACTUNG!: What you just read is BULLSHIT!!! I made it up! Muchas gracias, merci boku,
yob tvoyu mat, kuti-kala wahhhalas...