KORN REMAKE GETS PASSED OFF AS NEW METALLICA SONG!
They disappeared, alright...

     In a top-secret report a recording studio secretary
died to get to Cut Out Bin Editors, it is clearly
revealed that last year, Korn decided they wanted to
cover Metallica's "Enter Sandman."  Unable to play
the reletively simple song, they did a fast-and-
loose interetation of it.  After that Buddy Holly
lookalike wannabe sang new lyrics for it, effect-
ively creating a new song, Korn's producor used
the studio's computer to make his vocal track
sound just like James Hetfield.
     Guess what ended up on the soundtrack to a
recent movie under Metallica's name?
     "Uh, no, where the hell did you hear that?"

Lars Ulrich told The Cut Out Bin in a telecoference.
     "Are you familiar with studio report #A34415F12,
the one Casandra the secretary ran off with before
you had her killed?  We have it."
     "You son of a bitch."  Ulrich breathed quietly,
trying to hide his panic.
     "Thank you.  So why are Korn recording songs
for you guys now?"  Editor in Chief T.J. Swoboda
inquired.
     "Well, come on now, if we actually wanted to
work, we'd still be recording stuff as complex
as Master of Puppets.  But we're lazy, as you can
see from the increasing simplicty in our songs,
starting of course with the black album, moving on
through Load and Reload.  When Korn offered us
this song for a fraction of the money we'll make off
of it, it was an offer too good to refuse."

Just before or just after they became a bunch of fucking posers.

     When asked if they had similar plans for the
future, Lars said, "Hell yeah!  We're gonna have
System of a Down cover 'Welcome Home (Sanitarium)',
changing the vocals to sound like James, and pass it
off as our own re-recording of that song.  Dude, it's
gonna *suck*.  Our old fans will have perpetual nausea
from it."
     Kirk and James were too busy scouring the country-
side for tortured artists who jack off onto a micro-
scope slide and call it art to be reached.  Jason was in
deep thought contemplating going back to Flotsam and
Jetsam and could not be reached either.
     The moral of this story is: FUCK NU-METAL!!!  Real
insightful, I know, but FUCK NU-METAL ANYWAY!!!!!!!

ACTUNG!: What you just read is BULLSHIT!!! I made it up! Muchas gracias, merci boku,
yob tvoyu mat, kuti-kala wahhhalas...