JUDAS PRIEST FANS OFFENDED BY
THE WORD "FUCK"
Grown up metal heads turn into a bunch of fu...ow!
...fricking stiffs
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Metal legends Judas Priest recently celebrated the release
of Demolition, their fourteenth studio album and second
with new singer Tim "Ripper" Owens, a great replacement
for original frontman Rob Halford who goes to waste yet
again making shitty nu-metal wannabe music.

Among the album's supporters and detractors alike, however,
are an element that would take notice of the almost-
irrelevent; metal heads who have grown... Shall we say
"conservative," and not of the fiscal sort, unfortunately.

"This record marks the first uttering of the dreaded f-word
by a Judas Priest singer in a song," said Jim "Disposable Hero"
Bowers, now a member of the John Birsch Society and the
Assembly of God church.  "Such langauge reminds me of the
folly of my own youth, and should be censored by a large
government apparatus at the federal level."

%So you motherfuckers want to race...%

Julie Adams, Judas Priest fan and national president of
"Women for Adding Text to the Bible and Abolishing
Republican Institutions" said, "This new direction for
Priest's music is profoundly disturbing; not because it
sucks, though it does, but because of this stream of
foul language emanating from Ripper's mouth.

"Jesse Helms should head a new federal law enforcement
agency after he leaves the Senate, charged with washing out
the mouths of anyone who uses the d-, s-, f-, b-, or c-
words, or the expression 'sucks'...Oh wait, I just used
that, didn't I?  Strike that one..."

When these right-wing metal heads were asked *why* the word
"fuck" is so bad, and when it was pointed out to them that
the Middle English "fukken" was deemed profane in favor of
the Latin "copulate" by men, not God or Satan, they
screamed in chorus, "YOU HAVE A DEMON!"

In short: Grow the fuck up!